


lone nights no longer

by cassleia



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Gen, Post-Rogue One, vague description of past trauma, very vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25310935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassleia/pseuds/cassleia
Summary: They've left behind the beaches and sloping towers, but the past has hardly released its grip on any one of them.
Relationships: Cassian Andor & Jyn Erso & Bodhi Rook
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	lone nights no longer

There are nights where Bodhi doesn’t know so much as where he is. His mind, struggling as it may be to keep a hold on the present, holds a vice-like grip on the past. The still healing stretches of skin only tell a fraction of his story.

There are nights when Jyn sits so still, so tense that she may as well have been carved from stone. If it weren’t for the subtle rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathes, they would be inclined to check if she were alive. She may have escaped Scarif unscarred. Her mind did not. 

There are nights where Cassian is more than willing to sacrifice his physical comfort for a fraction of peace of mind. Bodhi follows him, and most nights Jyn will join them. None of them speaks, and yet volumes are shared in the silence that hangs between them. Bonds forged under such fire are difficult to break.

* * *

Among other things, Bodhi dreams of Jedha often. The expected destruction features of course, but it is far from the only thing plaguing his night. Bodhi dreams of stormtroopers. 

The stark white boots offered a stark contrast against the dusty roads of his neighborhood. He dreams of his eldest sister joining in the harsh whispers while he was relegated to the bedroom, clinging tight to his middle sister’s hand. It was cold. Far too cold, even for frigid desert nights. 

It was cold, far too cold for the beads of sweat to be forming on her already too thin frame. He dreams of gaunt faces, cracked lips, and the way he had stayed awake that night, the childish hope that if he just watched over her maybe she wouldn’t slip away. Bodhi dreams of choking back tears. Ammi couldn’t take those. Not when there was a daughter to bury and young mouths yet to feed.

* * *

Jyn dreams of Saw and the Partisans, of what felt more like home than anything has, save Hadder with his kind smile that she can’t bear to think of even now. Especially now. 

More rarely, she dreams of Lah’mu and her parents. Of her mother’s final shout, trembling hands, and a stony face. Of what had hardened in her upon seeing the crumpled body. 

She dreams of blasters in her too-small hands, the friction causing blisters that soon turned to callouses. Of Saw’s hands over hers, showing her a hundred ways to kill a man with and without the blaster. Of his firm, but never harsh words. She wakes with a hand at her chest, fingers curled tightly around the kyber crystal.

* * *

Cassian dreams of far off planets he doesn’t even recall the names of. His dreams are often seen through the lens of a sniper’s rifle, the same way he’d seen many of his final targets. 

He dreamt of every decision that had brought him here. Wondered if there were different ones he could have taken. He knew there wasn’t, every moment of his life had led to this. He still wondered. His dreams often took on an abstract quality, the blood he knew was on his hands dripping, warm, and viscous through his fingertips. 

Almost worse are the nights he dreams of Fest. Of impassioned speeches, coming from a voice he can barely remember, and strikingly similar ones from a voice that he cannot forget. He dreams of a quick smile in the snow-covered streets of his childhood. Cassian dreams of home, of something that hadn’t ever been quite safe but had never lacked in love.


End file.
